The Dumps

From the confines of my cozy desk at work, where the magic of paper pushing and number summing happens, I have the occasion to become inordinately intimate with the details of the lives of complete strangers. I often come to know of an individual’s marital infidelity, teenage felony conviction, or STD long before I ever, if I ever, see this person face to face.

In the process, I have met some people on paper who have led devastatingly depressing lives. And I know that depressing lives are not entirely uncommon, but I was recently disheartened to realize that in addition to the scores of mundanely melancholy with which I am familiar, I have also racked up a collection of three that are sad in shockingly blockbuster proportions. Any of them would make a killer screen play and more than once has my mind wandered to how I could possibly decide which would win the Truly Tragic Trophy.

And so, I put it to you, which pitch would you nominate for the Oscar?

• action shots of expensive cars and the untimely demise of an angelic five year old.
• superhero adventures from orphaned naissance to chemical burns
Chekhovian comedy of (suicidal) errors

Sometimes my job is a real downer.