Let’s Build A Better Tomorrow ::cheesy grin::

You know that tough love grandma who doesn’t take no crap and, whenever you complain, reminds you that when she was a little girl, everything was longer, harder, and stronger? And not in a good way. In the way where she’s calling you a chump.

That’s how I feel this week. Minus the clout derived from a childhood spent in the midst of the Depression.
::shrug::
So why don’t we give ‘er one last go here – one last chance to show my 87-at-heart colors. We’ll call this the self-righteous week, and then we’ll move on come Monday…

One Value

This weekend, the boy and I got into a discussion about whom out of a couple acquaintances should take responsibility in a situation I won’t bore you with and which is irrelevant to my ultimate point. What IS relevant is that I got very heated in this debate.

I have very strong feelings on the topic of personal responsibility. I am not proud to admit that I often judge people based on this piece of criteria, but my opinions stem from a code of conduct I set for myself at an early age. I have always had very strict parameters for the behavior I considered acceptable (perhaps too strict at times). Of course, I was a normal kid and gave my parents a good dose of grief, but all in all I would say I was pretty self-regulatory. Ask them – maybe I’m full of hot air – but I doubt it.

And I think the world would be an infinitely better place if more people were better at self-regulating. If more people understood that they are the only ones to be held responsible for their actions.

Awhile back, after spending a lot of time cutting slack for bad behavior due to ‘extenuating circumstances’, it finally dawned on me that life is too short to condone poor behavior. I will never doubt that living a good life after growing up in a dysfunctional and/or abusive home is a tough and uphill battle. No question about it – it’s a tall order. But a lot of people have tall orders to fill and we all carry our own baggage. At the end of the day, once you become an adult, you need to act like one. If your parents beat you when you were a child, they were to blame. But if you grow up and don’t change, you will probably beat your children. And then YOU are to blame. That is the best and most dramatic way to sum up my argument: no matter how hard your life has been, if you don’t take the initiative to change the programming, the cycle continues and the world never improves.

This goes hand-in-hand with living a life of conscious decisions.

Two Value

And it also goes hand-in-hand with the second thing I think this world could use a lot more of:

Gratitude.

Don’t bullshit yourself – if you are reading this, there is no doubt that compared to most humans you are infinitely, infinitely privileged. And if you just lost your job, or your wallet, or your child, or your leg, then I am truly sorry. But there are a slew of people who have it worse. You can ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS find something to appreciate. Life is all about perspective, and the better you are at realizing what you have to be grateful for, the happier you will be. This doesn’t mean you don’t have bad days or you can’t get mad or sad. It just means that you know that at the end of the day, you’ve got something going for you.

Take these two things to heart: personal responsibility, and gratitude. They will improve your life, the lives of those around you, and if enough people follow suit, the world.

Red Value

This is especially relevant right now in the midst of bailouts and layoffs and foreclosures galore. I am sure there are a group of people suffering from these issues to a degree that deems assistance necessary. But I am equally sure that there is a larger group that does not. Yes, this new economy is making things more difficult and requiring people to change their lifestyles. But those who signed mortgage agreements also need to acknowledge that they signed a contract and there are few fingers to point if they cannot make good on it. People need to understand that if they are in dire financial straits, they should cancel the cable subscription before asking for help. And folks need to stop ‘buying’ more house than they need or, apparently, can afford.

I cannot remember where, but I recently read accounts of two different people receiving modest unemployment assistance from the government. One woman, raising two children on her own, managed to save several thousand dollars. She explained that she had to put money aside to help her daughter pay for college. In another family, the father of the house used the check to purchase a new flat-screen television. He explained that the family had been through so much and deserved something nice. The former is an example of a woman I have no qualms about supporting, the latter is a man who had good intentions but no sense of responsibility.

Blue Value

Every day people all over are complaining about the government and The Man and the health industry and pointing fingers of blame in all sorts of directions. It’s easy, and we’re all guilty of doing it. God knows my little hippie self can get into a good tizzy about ‘big business’. But I also know deep down that this complaining is futile, and that action is the only way to effect change. I can stand at the shiny doors of big business screaming myself hoarse all I want, but eventually I will leave and some poor kid getting paid minimum wage at best will come out and Windex my handprint off of the glass door so no one will ever know I’ve been there. So what should you do?

• Don’t whine about the healthcare system all day and then turn around and put fast food burgers into your body every night – your own personal habits are more cruel to your body than the system.
• Money is power in this culture. Every dollar you spend is a vote. Buy services of which you approve, cancel services you dislike. If enough people agree, the Bad Guy will go out of business.
• Be like Mark Covington.

The End

In college I had the pleasure of working under our department’s most venerable production manager who gave the same opening speech to the fresh-faced tech crew at every show’s initial rehearsal:

The rehearsal schedule has been passed out. It tells you when you will be here. It is non-negotiable. If it says you are here, you will be. If you are not, it is because you are under a bus, and if you have the misfortune to find yourself under a bus, you will pull out your cell phone and call us so we can find a replacement.

I relish the memory to this day.

She was not unreasonable. Exceptions were made where exceptions were due (and to deserving parties), but she knew that if she gave an inch, we’d take a mile.

I am always refreshed to find people like this who take their commitments to others (and themselves) seriously.

Cheers to the fleet of truly mature individuals out there keeping it real with utterly boring and reliable behavior who understand that we have one brain and two hands (if we are lucky) to make the circumstances we want, naught but a lifetime to do it all, and no time for flaking or whining.

::clink::