Pornland, Here I come

One day last week my neck ceased to be composed of flesh and instead transformed itself into 100% Organic Spasm.

When this happens at work I do, on occasion, retreat to the file room and lie down on my back, which seems to be the only position in which the Organic Spasm will chill out for one single second. But this fit was more persistent and I figured that no number of five minute file room lie downs would permit sitting at my desk for more than a few minutes.

I stayed home and in the evening had occasion to speak to my friend D on the phone. I relayed my situation and the unfavorable ratio of necessary lie-downs to allowable sit-ups, complaining that the only position that made my neck any better was flat on my back. He concluded

Well, I guess it’s time for a career change. The Boy will just have to deal with it. You can crash on my floor until you find a place in The Valley.

Look for my name in lights any day now…